🌼 T.R.Kanakammal 🌼

A blessed soul was absorbed in the Master in the same manner she had lived her eighty-eight years: totally surrendered and prostrate at His feet!!

T.R.Kanakammal was perhaps the last living devotee who left all worldly attractions behind to reside in the holy presence of Sri Bhagavan before his mahasamadhi in 1950. She first remembered seeing His beatific smile on a visit to him when she was eight. From that time onwards she was completely captured in the net of His grace. At the age of 13 she declared to her parents that she would never have any interest in family life and pleaded with them not to get her married. Her pleading failed and she was married the same year, but before the event she extracted a promise from her father that if at the time she came of age and was expected to join her husband, he would not force her to do so if she wished otherwise. And she had the same vairagya a few years later when the time arrived.

Her parents were very pious people and eventually allowed her to go and live by the side of Sri Ramanasramam in the year 1946 when she was in her early 20s. Since then Tiruvannamalai has been her residence and Bhagavan Ramana her sole anchor and support.

💮 On Jayanti morning, January 1, 2010, Kanakammal circumambulated the Thaayummaanavar (Matrubhuteswara) Shrine and then entered Bhagavan's Samadhi Hall. Walking around the Samadhi she stopped on the north side to gaze at the Lingam of the Maharshi, while it was washed in preparation for the grand puja that was about to take place, commemorating the 130th birth anniversary of Sri Ramana. Right at that place she collapsed and was absorbed into her Master and Lord. How fitting an end for one who knew no other in her long life than Bhagavan Sri Ramana!! 💮

Kanakammal was an inestimable source of inspiration to the legions of devotees who sought her presence. She left us her reminiscences (Cherished Memories, in English) and several other books which shed light on the teachings of Bhagavan.

What follows is a transcribed reminiscence from a videotaped interview taken in 1999:

How to Speak ?

I would sit silently before Bhagavan. I was unable to ask him questions but I would listen attentively whenever he answered others. questions. After all, even if I asked him, the replies would be the same. Occasionally, when I felt like putting a question to Bhagavan, something within me would ask, "Would Bhagavan know about your doubt only if you asked him? Is he not within you also? Is it necessary to put your doubts in words?" Such thoughts would prevent me from speaking out. But again, I would observe devotees like Devaraja Mudaliar, G. V. Subbaramayya, Sambasiva Rao and others conversing freely with Bhagavan and wonder: "These people are so free with Bhagavan, then why not me too?"


In those days, Bhagavan was sitting in the Jubilee Hall. I would enter from the Old Hall and Bhagavan would be able to see me only after I turned into the Jubilee Hall. A wall would obstruct his view until then. In the Old Hall, I would muster courage and resolve that I would definitely speak to Bhagavan on that day, but the moment I turned into the Jubilee Hall, all my courage would evaporate. I would almost feel something tangibly dropping away from me, as if something were being emptied out. My walk would slow down considerably. Beyond a point, I would practically have to drag myself towards Bhagavan. To compound matters, on some such days Bhagavan would look directly at me. I could not bear it when Bhagavan looked directly at me. The intensity of his gaze would push me inwards. In such situations, I would just prostrate and sit down quietly, not even bothering to go up front near him. Bhagavan's look would push me inside and I would sit quietly there for the whole day. This is what would happen to me again and again in His presence.

Eager to talk to Bhagavan I sought the help of Anandammal, who often sat next to me. "I want to talk to Bhagavan," I told her, "but I am unable to bring myself to do so. However, despite the absence of words, I still get the peace and satisfaction that I would if I talked to him. What should I do?" Anandammal smiled and remained silent.

The next day I wanted to go for a pradakshina around Arunachala. As I could not go alone, Anandammal would accompany me. When I went to take Bhagavan's permission at about 5 a.m., no one else was present. I thought that this would be my best opportunity to speak to Bhagavan. As I prostrated before him, I thought, 'What do I ask him?' On such occasions I would think, 'What do you know? What will you ask this divine being at whose very sight you become tongue-tied?' All my questions would then remain bottled-up inside me. On that day, somehow mustering courage, I managed to speak out, "Bhagavan! I am going for pradakshina." I did not know what else to say. Bhagavan, who was reclining on the sofa came forward towards me and said, "Uh! What?" I then realized that although I requested permission to go for pradakshina, no sound had come from my mouth. 😂 Only my lips had moved. Again, I tried telling Bhagavan, with the same result. Bhagavan then said, "Oho! So you are going for the pradakshina? Who is accompanying you?" Anandammal, who had come to the hall by then and was standing beside me said, "Bhagavan, I am going." Bhagavan said "Very good! Very good!" and gave a beatific smile. Thus, despite several opportunities to do so, I was never able to speak to Bhagavan. So how could I ask him anything? And what was I to ask? Some people told me to ask him whatever doubts came to me in my sadhana, but then it would occur to me that if we do sadhana the way Bhagavan asked us to, then there is absolutely no room for doubt. Such doubts are only on account of our own mistakes in not following Bhagavan. Thus, I never asked Bhagavan any questions.

(Reproduced from http://www.arunachala.org/newsletters/2010/jan-feb)

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